Rest In Peace Whitney

I was planning on posting tonight after my long absence (another hospital visit), but tonight I'm just going to post on the tragic news of Whitney Houstons passing.  She had an amazing voice and it seems she just couldn't shake her drug demons.

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I'll be back in a day or so :)

Hello

Today the news guy said, some serial robbers head into the suburbs & I though he said cereal robbers head into the suburbs, and I laughed for way longer than I should have. Oskar didn’t seem to find it amusing.

I'm still here, and doing OK.  We got our first snow today and even though we are lucky to have our first snow that sticks this late in the year, I hate it with a passion.

It wasn't one of those nice fluffy snows, it was freezing rain first so that our vehicles (no garage) ended up frozen shut.  We broke the one pitiful ice scraper we could find.  Nothing beats being out in freezing sleet trying to chip into your car with half an ice scraper & a spatula. 
Once I got going, I went to Meijer to get two ice scrapers.  I got sturdy, fancy ones that cost almost $20 each.  When I came home my husband & I couldn't figure out how to work them.

Winter wonderland?  Don't be fooled, snow mostly sucks ;)

I'm actually doing better than OK, I'm doing better than I have in a  while.  I make sure I get dressed in jeans or cargos everyday, I used to always wear pajama, sweat pants type stuff all the time when I was more depressed.  But, since JD has my van all day while he is working & I'm dedicating today to blogging and cleaning, here's a little peek at the outfit I've been wearing since I got back from running my errands.

Cozy & Comfortable

I have a little more on my plate with my 3 blogs than I can handle right now, but I'm not focusing too much on blogging, so I can focus on acutally getting out of the house and living life.  I'll probably be around more often after my trip to the ACK Eukanuba dog show and the holidays are over.

As Adults Do We Really Need...

Gummy vitamins?  For adults?  Even better they have sour gummy vitamins.

And if you are an adult that likes sour gummies, wouldn't this just make you want to eat a handful of them?

Obviously I am not their target audience :)

Could There Be Sunshine Ahead?



Source

Living with bi-polar type II I feel like I have an uneven view of life.  A cynic, my glass has always been half empty.  I don't mean for it to be, but it always has been. 
At 44 years old, I'm trying to figure out how to be happy.  It's taken me a lot of years, and a lot of pain to realize that this disease was ruining my life by putting huge limits on the things I allow myself to do.

The world is scary & my place is safe.  But it's also getting smaller with each passing day becoming a prison.  I literally sit in front of a window and a computer screen & watch the world go by, feeling bad because I haven't laughed in forever.  Haven't enjoyed anthing I've done for the last several days.  Thoughts of feeling hopeless & worthless swirling in my head with no off switch.

I'm scared, but I want to break free of my walls, start talking nicely to myself, know that I am good enough & that I do have value.

I know that my little blog has been neglected, and I don't know what role it will have in my new & improving future, but I wanted to share what I was feeling with my friends.  Friends who have said countless prayers for me & have always lifted my spirits when I'm at my lowest.

I will always have bad days, but now I choose to believe that there will be more happy days right around the corner.  I'm going to learn how to be alive & joyful, even if I have to drag my bi-polar kicking & screaming behind me.

Project 365 Week 45

I may be a day late, but I'm determined to get my P365 out there!

Sunday, October 30 - Saturday, November 05, 2011

On Sunday, Chris & I went to the town of Rochester and walked along the river there, did some eating and shopping & I took this picture of the little fountain we came across.

Monday

Here's the bouquet of fall flowers that Chris got me on Sunday.  Aren't they pretty?

Tuesday

Oskar soaking up some fall sunshine.  Don't look at how cluttered my house is in the background!

Wednesday

The roses outside of my treatment facility are still blooming beautifully.

Thursday

A message I'm trying to incorporate into my life.

Friday

Oskar & Chris having a Friday night nap.  A great way to start the weekend.

Saturday

Moe continuing the napping on a handmade quilt.

I finished up my program on Friday & feel hopeful that I can use the tools I learned to better manage my bi-polar :)

Hop over to Sara's blog to see the other P365 participants.

Project 365 - Week 44

Hello P365 friends.  Sorry I've been out of the game for so long.  My bi-polar has gotten worse over the last several weeks and now I'm in a partial day hospital program to learn how to deal with things better.  It's hard, but I'm learning things that will hopefully be helpful for a long time.

This is the image that I came up with to use as my "mantra" of sorts.  I printed them out & put them where I will see them when I'm struggling.

I haven't been taking many pictures, but I put together a sort of catch up post with some from the past weeks.

Monday, 10/10

Oskar displays what the rest of us feel by refusing to leave the bed!

Wednesday, 10/11

Chloe longs to be an outside cat and is obviously jealous of Oskar.  I know he secretly loves her jealousy, lol.

Saturday, 10/12

I caught this bee on a flower & figure this is the last shot like this I'll get this year.

Thursday, 10/13

Oskar showing me his distaste for being woken up with the camera.

Saturday, 10/15

Homecoming for Jack & Alexis.  Isn't she tiny!

Thursday, 10/20

Chloe enjoying her nip toy.  She cracks me up.

Friday, 10/21

Oskar is happy that we got out his "personal space" heater.  How can you resist a schnauzer face.

Monday, 10/24

I took a pic of John David's door for a little contest that some of the pet blogs that I'm involved with are having.  He did this duct-tape treatment to his door about 3 years ago.

Friday, 10/28
Everyone is worn out from their week.  Naps for everyone!

If you haven't done it yet, you still have time to register for my Shutterfly Holiday card giveaway here.

For more Project 365 stop over & visit Sara.

I hope you all have a great week :)

Wordless Wednesday - Jack

Really, what is there to say...