Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Depression Hurts

If you're a reader of Screaming Mimi you probably know that I suffer from Bi-polar disorder type II.  If you're interested in reading about bipolar type II you can see my old post here.

There's a Cymbalta commercial that comes on TV and the theme is Depression Hurts.  I hate seeing that commercial.

Being trapped in your own head, that is constantly telling you how worthless you are and how much you can't do gets tiring.  Fast.

Some days it takes me to the point where I'm unable to function to do even the smallest things like making dinner for my family or unloading the dishwasher. 

The chemicals in my brain are different from the norm, it takes me longer to get motivated to do things, if I can do them at all.  Leaving the house for any social interaction is hard and actually impossible at times.  When taking Oskar for a walk is too daunting for me, I know that I'm having a rough patch.  Hello, rough patch.

I got up this morning and went to see my mom.  I didn't do any of my other errands, but I did the most important one and enjoyed spending some time with her, seeing some of the things that my grandmother had saved and reading a letter from my mom's grandpa. 

As always I'm writing this (somewhat disjointed) post in an ongoing effort to help people understand bipolar, depression, & mania.  We're not crazy, we're not lazy, we're hurting and if we're lucky we know that this episode will pass, hopefully sooner rather than later.

15 comments:

The Bug said...

Wouldn't it be nice if we could just kick that voice in our heads to the curb? Serve an eviction notice? And if I, with no type of diagnosis, feel that way how much more must YOU feel that way.

So sorry you're going through a rough patch. And you're right - you did the right thing by spending some time with your mom.

Rebecca Jo said...

As someone who struggles with anxiety & depression, I so truly appreciate your honesty & openness about it...

Kelly L said...

I am sorry that you are going through a rough patch - Here's to better days!
Love to you
I've Become My Mother
I've Become My Mother facebook

The Bipolar Diva said...

I hate that Cymbalta ad too. I hope you're feeling better soon. It totally sucks to feel that way. I seem to be on the uphill side of things....for now.

blueviolet said...

That's a horrible commercial, and I'm sorry that you're in a rough patch at the moment, but I'm glad that you got out to see your mom and spend some nice time with her!

Jenn said...

As always, praying for you friend!!! Glad you were able to spend time with your Mom. Praying that this rough patch passes quickly!!!!! Love & hugs!!

Queenie Jeannie said...

Big, big hugs! I wish I could do more for you!!! Just hang on and hopefully this episode will pass soon. I wish there was more the medical field could DO!!!!

Feeling blue over here too, but because I'm in so much physical pain. Not being able to function sucks regardless of the reason!!!

BARBIE said...

That Cymbalta add always makes me sad. I am sorry you are struggling right now. Saying a prayer for you.

Carolina said...

Okay, I don't know the Cymbalta add, but they should get it off the TV right now if it makes you (and others) feel so sad!

Pam, you have such a great sense of humour, you are sweet, pretty, you ROCK!, you have lots of people (and fourleggers) around you, in the real- and in blogworld, who love you, so you are not worthless. Even if the bipolar thing tells you differently. Stupid bipolar thing!

xx

SueAnn said...

Hang on...this will pass! I too suffer from this chemical imbalance. I have a pretty nice chemical cocktail going right now that keeps me pretty even. Thanks Doc! It only took 7 years! Sigh
Hugging you
SueAnn

STILLMAGNOLIA said...

I hate that Cymbalta commercial as well. it makes me sad just watching it.

bigguysmama said...

I hate how debilitating depression can be. It's so circular. Don't get up, feel worthless for not getting up, get nothing done, feel like you're a loser for not getting anything done, etc. At least you've recognized it where my daughter still hasn't. She's young and I hope and pray she'll figure it out and try to get some help.

Love you,

Mimi

Amy said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through that. I've had my times of grieving but nothing like what you go through.

Amy said...

hugs to you...

Emily said...

Sending you a really big (((HUG))). I hope you are feeling better by now. I will continue to pray that God will give you whatever you need to kick this nasty disorder goodbye! Much love coming your way.