Hello

Today the news guy said, some serial robbers head into the suburbs & I though he said cereal robbers head into the suburbs, and I laughed for way longer than I should have. Oskar didn’t seem to find it amusing.

I'm still here, and doing OK.  We got our first snow today and even though we are lucky to have our first snow that sticks this late in the year, I hate it with a passion.

It wasn't one of those nice fluffy snows, it was freezing rain first so that our vehicles (no garage) ended up frozen shut.  We broke the one pitiful ice scraper we could find.  Nothing beats being out in freezing sleet trying to chip into your car with half an ice scraper & a spatula. 
Once I got going, I went to Meijer to get two ice scrapers.  I got sturdy, fancy ones that cost almost $20 each.  When I came home my husband & I couldn't figure out how to work them.

Winter wonderland?  Don't be fooled, snow mostly sucks ;)

I'm actually doing better than OK, I'm doing better than I have in a  while.  I make sure I get dressed in jeans or cargos everyday, I used to always wear pajama, sweat pants type stuff all the time when I was more depressed.  But, since JD has my van all day while he is working & I'm dedicating today to blogging and cleaning, here's a little peek at the outfit I've been wearing since I got back from running my errands.

Cozy & Comfortable

I have a little more on my plate with my 3 blogs than I can handle right now, but I'm not focusing too much on blogging, so I can focus on acutally getting out of the house and living life.  I'll probably be around more often after my trip to the ACK Eukanuba dog show and the holidays are over.

As Adults Do We Really Need...

Gummy vitamins?  For adults?  Even better they have sour gummy vitamins.

And if you are an adult that likes sour gummies, wouldn't this just make you want to eat a handful of them?

Obviously I am not their target audience :)

Could There Be Sunshine Ahead?



Source

Living with bi-polar type II I feel like I have an uneven view of life.  A cynic, my glass has always been half empty.  I don't mean for it to be, but it always has been. 
At 44 years old, I'm trying to figure out how to be happy.  It's taken me a lot of years, and a lot of pain to realize that this disease was ruining my life by putting huge limits on the things I allow myself to do.

The world is scary & my place is safe.  But it's also getting smaller with each passing day becoming a prison.  I literally sit in front of a window and a computer screen & watch the world go by, feeling bad because I haven't laughed in forever.  Haven't enjoyed anthing I've done for the last several days.  Thoughts of feeling hopeless & worthless swirling in my head with no off switch.

I'm scared, but I want to break free of my walls, start talking nicely to myself, know that I am good enough & that I do have value.

I know that my little blog has been neglected, and I don't know what role it will have in my new & improving future, but I wanted to share what I was feeling with my friends.  Friends who have said countless prayers for me & have always lifted my spirits when I'm at my lowest.

I will always have bad days, but now I choose to believe that there will be more happy days right around the corner.  I'm going to learn how to be alive & joyful, even if I have to drag my bi-polar kicking & screaming behind me.

Project 365 Week 45

I may be a day late, but I'm determined to get my P365 out there!

Sunday, October 30 - Saturday, November 05, 2011

On Sunday, Chris & I went to the town of Rochester and walked along the river there, did some eating and shopping & I took this picture of the little fountain we came across.

Monday

Here's the bouquet of fall flowers that Chris got me on Sunday.  Aren't they pretty?

Tuesday

Oskar soaking up some fall sunshine.  Don't look at how cluttered my house is in the background!

Wednesday

The roses outside of my treatment facility are still blooming beautifully.

Thursday

A message I'm trying to incorporate into my life.

Friday

Oskar & Chris having a Friday night nap.  A great way to start the weekend.

Saturday

Moe continuing the napping on a handmade quilt.

I finished up my program on Friday & feel hopeful that I can use the tools I learned to better manage my bi-polar :)

Hop over to Sara's blog to see the other P365 participants.

Project 365 - Week 44

Hello P365 friends.  Sorry I've been out of the game for so long.  My bi-polar has gotten worse over the last several weeks and now I'm in a partial day hospital program to learn how to deal with things better.  It's hard, but I'm learning things that will hopefully be helpful for a long time.

This is the image that I came up with to use as my "mantra" of sorts.  I printed them out & put them where I will see them when I'm struggling.

I haven't been taking many pictures, but I put together a sort of catch up post with some from the past weeks.

Monday, 10/10

Oskar displays what the rest of us feel by refusing to leave the bed!

Wednesday, 10/11

Chloe longs to be an outside cat and is obviously jealous of Oskar.  I know he secretly loves her jealousy, lol.

Saturday, 10/12

I caught this bee on a flower & figure this is the last shot like this I'll get this year.

Thursday, 10/13

Oskar showing me his distaste for being woken up with the camera.

Saturday, 10/15

Homecoming for Jack & Alexis.  Isn't she tiny!

Thursday, 10/20

Chloe enjoying her nip toy.  She cracks me up.

Friday, 10/21

Oskar is happy that we got out his "personal space" heater.  How can you resist a schnauzer face.

Monday, 10/24

I took a pic of John David's door for a little contest that some of the pet blogs that I'm involved with are having.  He did this duct-tape treatment to his door about 3 years ago.

Friday, 10/28
Everyone is worn out from their week.  Naps for everyone!

If you haven't done it yet, you still have time to register for my Shutterfly Holiday card giveaway here.

For more Project 365 stop over & visit Sara.

I hope you all have a great week :)

Wordless Wednesday - Jack

Really, what is there to say...

Shutterfly Giveaway

Last year I discovered how awesome Shutterfly was for holiday cards.

You may know that my miniature schnauzer Oskar has his own blog, and for Valentine's day I got him some great cards to send to his female admirers.

We also ordered our holiday cards from Shutterfly last year and loved the way they turned out.  I have to mention how easy it was to order them & how quickly they got here.  They offer tons of different layout options for you to choose from, or else you can just follow one of their pre-made themes.

OK, so you already know I'm crazy about Oskar, so with one of Shutterfly's great coupon offers I ordered him some holiday cards for this year.  I really love the non-traditional style.

Shutterfly also has a great selection calendars, photo gifts & greeting cards.

Are you a blogger? Want a chance at 25 free cards this holiday season? Register here: http://goo.gl/DDw7Q

Now for the best part!  Shutterfly has offered me a giveaway of 25 free cards to 3 different Screaming Mimi readers!

We're going to make this contest simple, so here are the rules:

1.  Be a follower of Screaming Mimi

2. Go To Shutterfly and tell me what kind of cards you would like to order.

That's it!  Leave one comment telling me that you follow Screaming Mimi and which cards you like best.  On October 31st I'll pull a name 3 names out of a hat.  Make sure that your e-mail address is in your profile or in your comment, or you can't win.

Comments will close 10/30 at midnight Eastern time.  Winners will be notified via e-mail and have 48 hours to respond or else a new winner will be chosen.

*Shutterfly is providing free photo cards to me in exchange for this review.  All opinions expressed are my own, I really do love this company :)

What are you waiting for, the holidays are getting closer!

Jack's Homecoming

Hello friends, if there are still any of you out there!  Sorry I've been gone so long.  I took some time off to deal with issues related to my bi-polar brain.

I've missed all of my blogging buddies & I wanted to get back to show you pics of Jack, my youngest, and his girlfriend Alexis on their way to the homecoming dance.

Here they are trying to figure out how to put on Jack's boutonniere.

It's a little harder without a suit jacket to pin it on, but Jack wasn't going to homecoming in anything less than his own unique style.  It's kind of a mix between Johnny Depp & Russell Brand but you can't really tell that from this pic  ;)

They had a great time at the dance & I'm a little sad for another milestone that we have passed on the way to his adulthood.

John David is still working and trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life, but at 19 I figure that's just fine, since he's doing well at his job.

I may still be hit or miss here for a while while I try to figure out the dark clouds in my head, but I do have a couple of fun things coming up.

As always...

One Post Equals One Hundred Bowls!

When You Show Your Support by Joining the Iams Blogging 4 Bowls Blog Hop Iams will Donate 100 Meals!

<center><a href="http://petblogsunited.blogspot.com/2011/10/when-you-show-your-support-by-joining.html/" target="_blank" title="Bloggy Blog Designz"><img border="0" src="http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z310/phoerauf/PBU/IamsHome4theHolidaysBlogHopFinal2.jpg" /></a></center> Did you read that?  100 meals for orphaned pets just for writing a little blog post & joining the blog hop.
Here's all you need to do to show your support for the Iams Home 4 the Holidays Blogging for Bowls Blog Hop:

•Link up your blog name and URL using the Linky Tool below, where it says Click Here To Enter. You only need to add your link once to be seen on all the Blogging 4 Bowls Blog Hop Linky Tools.

Additional ways to show your support of the Iams Home 4 the Holidays kickoff:

•Grab the code and write a post on your blog to show your added support for the Blogging for Bowls Blog Hop.

•Stop by the blog hop co-hosts,The Tiniest Tiger, Fidose of Reality, Pets News and Views, Pets Weekly, Dogtipper, and Preston Speaks , to say hello.

•Visit other blogs that are supporting the Blogging 4 Bowls Blog Hop. Make new friends and/or reconnect with old friends.

Someone's Daddy

Someones daddy may have expected a Mark David, but came through with flying colors when Pamela Cathleen showed up.

7/7/1968, my first birthday party

Someone's daddy never complained when he was working more than one job to get someone the things that she thought she needed.

After ice skating January, 1970

Someone may have put up with more mouth & sass than should be tolerated, but always loved her anyway.

"Shoeland", Holland, Michigan, August, 1973

Someone's daddy may not say I love you often, but shows it in many little ways.

With dad at my wedding to Chris, 8/29/03

Someone's having a birthday today & I'm proud that he's this someone's daddy.

Depression Hurts

If you're a reader of Screaming Mimi you probably know that I suffer from Bi-polar disorder type II.  If you're interested in reading about bipolar type II you can see my old post here.

There's a Cymbalta commercial that comes on TV and the theme is Depression Hurts.  I hate seeing that commercial.

Being trapped in your own head, that is constantly telling you how worthless you are and how much you can't do gets tiring.  Fast.

Some days it takes me to the point where I'm unable to function to do even the smallest things like making dinner for my family or unloading the dishwasher. 

The chemicals in my brain are different from the norm, it takes me longer to get motivated to do things, if I can do them at all.  Leaving the house for any social interaction is hard and actually impossible at times.  When taking Oskar for a walk is too daunting for me, I know that I'm having a rough patch.  Hello, rough patch.

I got up this morning and went to see my mom.  I didn't do any of my other errands, but I did the most important one and enjoyed spending some time with her, seeing some of the things that my grandmother had saved and reading a letter from my mom's grandpa. 

As always I'm writing this (somewhat disjointed) post in an ongoing effort to help people understand bipolar, depression, & mania.  We're not crazy, we're not lazy, we're hurting and if we're lucky we know that this episode will pass, hopefully sooner rather than later.

BlogHer Just Keeps Giving

Some of you may remember that before my trip to BlogPaws, I went to BlogHer in San Diego.  Proctor & Gamble is a big sponsor of BlogHer & instead of giving out a lot of swag at the conference, they sent a box to bloggers who registered.

Well my box came today & let me say I was NOT disappointed.  BlogHer is full of take home swag, in fact it's customary to bring a whole seperate suitcase just to transport all of your goodies home.  Some pens from this company, re-usuable shopping bags, lunch coolers, nice things like that & some even nicer.

Well P&G just blew everyone out of the water.  FedEx just delivered this box to my house.

Full sized, new products from lines we are all familiar with like Tide, Swiffer, Oil of Olay & more.  Just look.

Now I was sponsored by the pet care division of Proctor & Gamble to go to BlogHer, but that's not why I received this box.  Every blogger who registered got a box like this one.  I'm off to sort through all of this fun new stuff & hope I can get a sponsor again next year for BlogHer!

Oops!

A neighbor rode by on her bike & this is what went through my head.



I'm going to assume most of us have moments of thinking like that, right?