Yes, I Am That Immature!

I heard a line from a commercial.  It said, "united in duty."

I giggled to myself because all I could think of was, "united in doodie!"

Secret Shame

I'm not proud to admit it, but I follow a site that is nothing but pure gossipy, trashy goodness. It's not Perez Hilton, I've grown bored with him.

Out of sheer embarassment, I'm not telling you the name of this site, but here are just a couple of gems that I found there the other day.

First is this amazing picture of Rick Springfield. The hair, the sweater with the lightning bolt, priceless.



I was lucky enough to get to meet him backstage a couple of years ago & he looks great and has much better hair now! My high school girlfriends & I had a blast & Rick looked great after playing a long and super energetic show.



This was something else I found on the same site, with the following caption.

"Meet Hello Kitty's arch nemesis: Goodbye Bitch."

How can you not love a source for things like this?

Huh?

This clip is stolen directly for a website that I don't care to admit that I read on a daily basis. (Right Joy?)

This is an actual IHOP commercial from 1969. I don't think creepy even begins to describe it!

Random Thoughts From People Our Age

An e-mail that really did make me LOL! My comments are in red.

Random thoughts from people our age...

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

-There is a great need for a sarcasm font!

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

-I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

-Was learning cursive really necessary? (I'm thinking no since my they didn't teach it to my 14 year old son!)

-LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

-I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

-How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

-I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

-Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

-Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

-I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water. (Why would you do this?)

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

-Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted.. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

-Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year? (My son is a high school senior, I can verify that this is true!)

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

-"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on?

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

-I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner. (My personal favorite!)

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies!

I immediately thought of my friend Diane when I saw this.

"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance - Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!"

Yogi Ogi Icky!!

I'm sorry I haven't been around much & haven't been visiting all of your blogs. I'm in the last week of 2 accelerated online college classes & it's crunch time.

I saw this today & thought I would share. I do not want to be the only person to have to re-live this video over in my brain. It's one of those things that there just are no words for. I do know I wouldn't let my young child got to Yogi Ogi Farm.

I'm sorry & you're welcome.

Amazing

You MUST click the link below. I can't imbed it, but I promise goosebumps at a minimum, tears likely.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

Such a beautiful voice from a woman who they had already written off. You can see Simon's charm come out as he watches her. I can't wait to see her become a star.

Today's lesson: It's never too late to follow our dreams!

NOT Cool, Mother Nature!

Once Bitten

Alright, so I've caved to peer pressure & started reading Twilight. The boys weren't really interested & I wasn't interested enough to buy them for myself, but sometime last year Jack got the first 2 books from someone. He read the first one & never started the second. I don't think teen boys are their target audience.

Now I really got into the book. I read about half of it last night. Then I was stopped dead in my tracks. He sparkles?? WTF kind of vampire sparkles! I get that they are romanticizing for the little tween girls & housewives, but this made me close the book last night & go to sleep. I'm sure I was muttering disgustedly in my sleep about sparkling.

Interview With A Vampire had pretty vampires & even more homoerotic subtext than even Anne Rice intended, still I didn't see Brad or Tom Sparkle.

I've decided to try to overlook the sparkly part & continue reading, just don't tell Nosferatu, OK?

Parenting Product of the Day

Boy I wish I could go back to those potty training days, now that this is available!



*I couldn't find a website or any evidence that this is a real product

Flashback Friday

I just found this & since I had out some old pic of myself I thought I'd play along.

This was 1972, so I was 5. I love how the mouth of the pumpkin kind of looks like a map of the United States! We've got the always cool avacado green stove topped off by some cool mushroom candles. Man, the 70's was ugly, but I was dang cute!

For more Flashback Friday fun check out Tara over at Too Much Information.

Just Some Smiles Today

Okay, I found this over at The Fun House, run by Jennifer. Her life seems crazy, but in the really good way! I have copied her verbatim, because I'm short on time & heck, why re-invent a already perfectly worded wheel, ya know?

The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!

2. What I create will be just for you.

3. It'll be done this year. {might be a little while}

4. You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a story. It may be poetry or maybe even some creation I haven't even invented yet. I may draw or paint something. I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!

5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch?
**Oh, the catch is that you must repost this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog. The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me!

* * *Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it!* * *

**I am amending this a little to say that you don't have to repost this on your blog if you don't want to! If you're in the Top 5 I will still make you something!

*Also remember to include an e-mail address if I can't get an e-mail to you through a blog

Secondly this kid made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants. I think the second half is even better than the first. His expressions & his level of earnestness just kill me. If he can't make you smile today... Well if he can't make you smile today let me know & I'll see what else I can come up with!

Somebody Thinks I'm Worthy!

I got a wonderful blog award from Mimi over at He & Me + 3. Mimi is someone who dropped into my life thru the blogosphere & she has been bringing a little sunshine into my days ever since. Mimi is a fellow believer, an awesome photographer, and a mom to 3 pretty gorgeous kids. She's got a great name too!

The Rules are simple:

You must be a true Christmas lover to receive this award.

The person to whom you give the award must also be in love with Christmas.

You must link back to the person who gave you the award.

You must list 5 things that you love about Christmas.

If you can't limit it to 5 things, then keep going till you run out of space! :o)

Pass the award along to as many people as you like. That can be 1 or 45; it's up to you. But, you must pass it on to at least one person in order to keep the Christmas cheer going!

Let your recipients know that you have tagged them by leaving them a comment on their blog.

Things I Love About Christmas

1. Celebrating the birth of the Christ child

2. Quiet moments that I get to steal with family

3. Decorating the tree

4. Giving presents

5. Getting presents

6. Seeing relatives that I don't get to see enough

7. Listening to the CD's Elvis Sings The Wonderful World of Christmas & A Christmas Together: John Denver and the Muppets

8. Memories

9. Food

10. Sitting in a dark room & looking at the lights on the tree

Now I get to tag people!

I pick:
Denise from Sunflowers, Chocolate, and Little Boys. As soon as I saw the name of her blog listing 3 of my favorite things in the world, I knew we would click.

Jenn at Delightfully Cliche. Hopefully she can get to this after she gets caught up on her rest!

Janah at So Not Mom-a-licious. Life's been tricky in her neck of the woods, but she still makes me laugh.

Finally Victoria at Vicupdates. She's a 17 year-old living with Lyme disease and she totally has Christmas spirit.

I Quit!

I've gotta say I'm pretty sick of "the system" right now. Court did not go very well for me.

I just wanna say that sometimes it's tiring to know that you are the person "doing the right thing" when the person, or Ass Hat, "doing the wrong thing" continually gets rewarded for their bad behavior. Having the moral high ground doesn't feel like much when for all intents & purposes the person with seemingly no morals still comes out "ahead".

I know all of the blather about me being the one who is teaching the kids right & wrong. Ass Hat will end up "paying the price" in the long run, etc., but right now I want someone at Oakland County Friend of the Court to see thru all the BS & call the man on his awful parenting skills & judgement.

For goodness sakes, the man punched our 16 yr. old in the face, in my church, during a youth event, started giving the same kid alcohol when he was 14, took him to see this outrageous movie & the court rewards him with more time with our 13 year old!!!

I give up.

I guess I should say I give it up to God.

**For anyone who doesn't know what the heck I'm blathering about see this post.

Words You Don't Want To Hear...

Any of you who pay attention to my blog know that things have been a little sucky in Mimi-ville this week. Since this trend is continuing I thought I would just fill you in on a few things you don't want to hear.

If you or someone you love is at an emergency room you do not want to hear the words "fecal impaction." This will put an immediate halt on any Christmas cheer you may have been harboring, trust.

If you are looking up a movie that your ex-husband, affectionately known as Ass Hat, took your 16 year old son to see you do not want to read words like "a man & a woman have anal sex...feces splatter onto the cameraman's face", or "A woman removes her panties...blows bubbles from an orifice". These are only 2 examples of the myriad of sins in this movies description. Obviously poor Ass Hat had no idea that this would be a poor movie choice. The title "Zach & Miri Make a Porno" really gives nothing away about the storyline.

When you are suffering from a 2nd degree burn & you have run out of narcotic pain killers you do not want to hear the words, "Dr. Mouiuuoiyae (not his real name, but it is made up almost entirely of vowels) can't squeeze you in until Friday morning!

I have to close now. I have to go pick up 16 yr. old from school & go to family court with Ass Hat. He's not quite sure why I don't want him to spend extra time with our 13 yr. old. After all 16 was 14 years old before Ass Hat gave him alcohol for the first time. 13 still has at least 6 more months. If there was ever a day I needed narcotic pain killers, today is right up there.

Barney's Bad Day

Barney, President & Mrs. Bush's Scottish Terrier, is apparantly unhappy about his upcoming change of address.

This reported found out the hard way. Luckily Barney's baby sister Mrs. Beasley was sleeping and did not witness the drama.

Don't mess with Barney!

Hey! Look Me Over!

Tell me do ya like what ya see!

Yes I borrowed from Prince a little there, but I'm just so excited about the new look of my blog I needed to sing!

A couple of weeks ago I entered a contest put on my Shera at There's A Frog In My Soup that I found on Christian Women Online. Shera was giving away amazing blog design packages from her other website Sweet and Simple Design.

I was lucky enough to win the gorgeous layout you see here. I pestered Shera with a million questions & she calmly answered every one of them and made my blog perfect. I think she had so much patience with me because she's used to dealing with her 6 boys under 12 including a pair of 2 year old twins.

If your layout is looking a little less than stellar, stop by & take a look at what Shera has to offer. You won't be sorry!

I found this on My Life Tales From Smurfland and thought I'd play along.

I choose......
Tom Hanks over Tom Cruise
confrontation over avoidance
Mexican food over Chinese food
late nights over early mornings
beer over wine
CBS over NBC
sweet over salty
beach over mountain
Chocolate over vanilla
dogs & cats (there is one of each watching me right now, I don't want either of the mad at me!)
mistakes made over missed chances
lipstick over lipgloss
J.K Rowling over J.R.R. Tolkien
dark chocolate over milk chocolate
hockey over football
pie over cake
half empty over half full
sense of humor over sense of style
Jeopardy! over Wheel of Fortune
soda over iced tea
The Breakfast Club over Dirty Dancing
french fries over french toast
Cinderella over Belle
small town over big city
The Oscars over The Olympics
too cold over too hot
mustard over ketchup
Caesar salad over house salad
books over movies
pedicures over manicures
John Cusack over John Malkovich
oranges over apples
fast cars over big trucks
elliptical over treadmill
summer over winter
time alone over time with girlfriends (I don't get out much)
vacuuming floors over mopping floors

Play along...what do you prefer?

FYI, I found Tammy at my life on the Michigan Mammas page. Hop over & check out all of the talent we have here in Michigan!

Are We There Yet?

I have had it up to my armpits in politics! The negativity spewing from every direction just wears on me. I know who I'm voting for, so lets just go ahead & have the election now...just make them all shut up.

The History Of The Apron

I don’t think our kids know what an apron is.

The principal use of Grandma’s apron was to protect the dress underneath.

Along with that it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children’s tears and on occasion it was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.

From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.

When the weather was cold Grandma wrapped it around her arms.

Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.

Chips & kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.

From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.

In the fall, the apron was used to bring in the apples that had fallen from the trees.

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.

When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that “old-time apron” that served so many purposes so well.

They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs were on that apron, but I don’t think anybody ever got sick from Grandma’s apron.

* My Mom, who grew up in a real farmhouse, passed this on to me. I don't know who wrote it, but they seem pretty wise.