How many people do you know who can say they lost their underwear at the grocery store? Yep, underpants lost at my local Kroger. Now before you start to think that I was getting hinky with the frozen foods guy, let me explain.
I had errands to run so I had to put on real clothes. For those of you who don't know me in person this means actual pants (not sweats or jammie type pants), shirts with no holes & the appropriate undergarments. If I'm at home all day, I cannot vouch for what you will see if you come knocking on my door unexpectedly, but I can assure you that it isn't pretty.
I was at Target looking for some of those new empire-waisted baby doll type tops that are in style right now & flatter my type of figure. You know the body type with extra rolls of fat around the middle & rear, (sorry to have to leave that image in your head.) When I was reaching in my jeans pocket to get out my car keys I thought I felt something in there besides my keys. I dug around & alas, nothing but keys. I hopped in my Mom-mobile (teal colored Ford Windstar mini-van) & ran off to the grocery store.
I got some lettuce from the produce department, started to move on & realized that I needed some fruit so I circled back. Then I saw them. Laying on the tile in the produce department was a pair of my underwear.
You may wonder how I knew they were mine, but I knew it as well as I know my name. Those were my underpants...laying on the floor...in the middle of the produce department...at my local Kroger. They must have been stuck inside my jeans from the dryer. I quickly walked over to the bread aisle & weighed my choices. These were a favorite pair of mine. The kind that don't wedge into inappropriate places, don't droop, sag or show visible panty lines. I needed to get these underwear back!
I casually walked back to produce noticed that there were several people around, but none of them were near my unders. Luckily I was able to kick them into the organic food department & pick them up without anyone noticing. I hope.