Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Random Thoughts From People Our Age

An e-mail that really did make me LOL! My comments are in red.

Random thoughts from people our age...

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

-There is a great need for a sarcasm font!

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

-I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

-I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

-Was learning cursive really necessary? (I'm thinking no since my they didn't teach it to my 14 year old son!)

-LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

-I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

-How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

-I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

-Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

-Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

-I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water. (Why would you do this?)

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

-Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted.. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

-Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year? (My son is a high school senior, I can verify that this is true!)

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

-"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on?

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

-I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

-Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner. (My personal favorite!)


Jenn said...

These are so funny!!!!

Rebecca Jo said...

Oh my word... I was cracking up... especially at the LOL comment... & the red light... I was saying "YEP" to so many... & Yes, I work with the youth at my church... even there, the girls are MUCH more "mature"... I blame the fashion industries... who decided tiny strings with skin tight fabric be the shirts of today?

Megan said...

hahahahahaha oh that is too funny. And the sad part is, I have thought at least 8 or 9 of those! lol!

Diane said...

these are great!! thanks for the laugh! i needed it!

Tammy said...

These were so funny! I have thought, said or done more of these than I can count. Yes, I suppose we are that age........LOL...but, I really mean that as a laugh, not just because I didn't have anything else to say. Which I don't. But, I really was laughing out loud.

blueviolet said...

There is entirely too much truth in those! Maybe that's what makes them so funny!

Queenie Jeannie said...


So freaking funny!!! Thomas and I totally laughed our butts off reading these together! No clue where you got this but this is one of the funniest things I've ever read in my ENTIRE LIFE!!

Awesome!! Bravo!!!!!!

lagirl/sweet tea said...

Is this you?
Do you promise?
You don't sound like MiMi! LOL

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

OK so here is a really neat tidbit...there is a contraption called Fit and Fold and can you guess what it does? It keeps your fitted sheet on your bed, and THEN, THEN it allows you to fold them soo easily it is scary. One of my friends makes the product and it works great...

That might be (1) thing you can cross off the random list....

Im playing catch up on a TON of blogs. Sorry I have not been commenting!!!


Doodles said...

K... love all of the comments and sidebars (your little notes in red) I either read your post twice completely possible do randomly crazy things often or I read some of these on someone else with more added in... you'ld have to let me know... which I am semi certain you may have in first couple sentences but I am tired and can't remember... So the Fitted sheet thing no not the Fit and Fold but just a do it yourself trick you put your hands in the corners right to the top of the seam just two corners now fold one on top of the other like turning a sandwhich bag inside out. Then you smooth down the edge where the two meet to the bottom and repeat..I am sure that it's not making much sense the way I am discribing it would be so much easier to show you.. but I have never made a folding video.. I think I saw it on Martha Stewarts Daughters show where she makes fun of her mom!! but hey that one really worked.. At the end all four corners should be folded on top of each other and you use the seam corner to make the side so you kind of have this upside down L of fabric and that gets folded on the inside.

Alicia, The Snowflake said...

Oh too funny!!!!

But I'm not sure if I like the title. "People our age"? Does that mean we're getting old? I refuse to think so. Although judging by how much I relate to the always tired comment, maybe I am getting a little old ;)

Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

Very funny...and so true! I am one of the old people this list was made for :-)

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

So funny...and true!

Bad decisions make good stories...and good blog posts!

SE said...

These were so funny, I liked the LOL one and the last one best

SE x

Anonymous said...

I love this post!!!! So funny!

Maria said...

Too Funny! Love them though, I can agree with LOTS of them

Joy said...

These are funny and so true.

No, there is no need for cursive anymore, although I do like writing in cursive.

Yes, high school girls at least seem to dress sluttier than ever before. {Except for mine.}

Martha Stewart knows how to fold a fitted sheet, that beeyotch!

Kirsten said...

Thanks for the laugh. I cracked up several times and related to most. Who was the inspiration on this?