Thursday, November 20, 2008

When I'm Hopped Up On Goofballs, I Steal Things!

Yeah, who knew. I'm a closet kleptomaniac. Let me explain. I have been hospitalized about 12-15 times in the last 2 years. It took them that long to figure out my problem was my gall bladder.

I need to confess to my stealing ways. I was kept pretty looped up on Dilaudid, Vicodin and muscle relaxers. When Chris would bring me home he would start to put away my hospital bags & find odd things. The first time I brought home about 50 wrapped straws, a butter knife, a bunch of things of handlotion & some of those kidney-shaped puke receptacles! They were clean, because I hadn't used any, but why I brought home 5 or 6 of them I don't know.

Like any criminal I escalated. The next time Chris found my stash I had a box of hospital maxi pads (they are the size of a twin size mattress), a few hospital wash cloths (about as thick as newspaper), and 4 tablespoons.

Finally I was apparently elated at them figuring out my problem & removing the offending gall bladder. I brought home 4 dirty glass bowls that the hospital served Jello in, a pair of scrub pants & 1 jumbo sized adult diaper.

I'm hoping to get a hospital bed into my backpack if I ever have to go back to the hospital. I really like how you can adjust them.

8 comments:

Denise said...

This is too funny....we have always managed to bring home some "extras" from any hospital visit too....so dont feel bad. Besides, you probably paid too much for the hospital stay and it kinda makes you even.

He And Me + 3 said...

OMGosh Mimi, I am busting a gut over here. YOu are so funny! I think that is just hysterical. I like the hospital beds too...great for blogging and watching TV in. LOL

Brenda Jean said...

BAHAHAHAHAHA I've always brought home the pink tubs or the small things you are suppose to pee in. Of course they weren't used because no one could actually do that in something that small.

I can't believe it took them that long to figure out the gallbladder thing! Mine went bad when I was pregnant with my first son, and I had to wait to have it removed til a month after he was born. That was fun:)

Pink Ink said...

Funny! A hospital bed would be hard to sneak out though, huh?? :-)

Jennifer said...

OMG--You poor thing w/ all of those hospitalizations! A few things have always come home w/ me after the babies were born--usually some extra formula and lots of those ice pack things!

The Book Whore said...

You would think you would take something better than plastic utensils! :D Next time bring home the good drugs!! :)

Tracy P. said...

Well I sure am glad they figured out what was wrong with you. But that is hilarious!

Rachael said...

Hilarious! I especially love the glass bowls, hope those come in handy.