I was talking to my wonderful friend Joy from Joy To The Blog about having her make me one of her beautiful ATC's for my bi-polar. She has a daughter who suffers from mental illness so she really understands, plus her ATC's and altered OOAK art are amazing. You can check it out here at her shop Endearing Ephemera.
Joy asked me what my bi-polar felt like and when I wrote the answer back to her it seemed like something I'd like to share in my ongoing quest to remove the stigma from mental illness and educate people about bi-polar.
My bi-polar (type II) feels like a constant struggle of one part of my mind against the other. Like there is a black vortex that is pulling strongly at me all the time, and even though I know it's the worst place to go, I'm usually not strong enough to fight against it.
I am sane, therefore I know most of my bi-polar feelings are irrational, but they are usually stronger than the rest of me, leaving me frustrated logically and somewhat crippled emotionally. Paired with my social anxiety disorder, which keeps me from being comfortable around people, it leads to a really lonely life.
Many people I know say, "Well you know me, so it shouldn't be a problem to be around me", but that's exactly the problem. Even with people I know I'm rarely able to go out and interact with them. I'm able to go to the grocery store, or library where I'm anonymous yet I'm unable to go to church, where the people know and care about me.
You can imagine how frustrating how frustrating this would be for a person logically. If you're interested in reading more about my type of bi-polar you can check out this post.
When thinking about this post, I wanted to find the ribbon for bi-polar. You know how all illnessess have a ribbon like the red AIDS ribbon. Well I found 3 or 4 different ribbons, so I don't know which one is real. I guess since we're bi-polar we can't make up our mind one only one, lol!