Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Back 2 Blogging: Day 2 - Will You Be My Friend?

Today's challenge is to re-publish a post that you wish more readers had seen.  I know that Mimi readers may have already seen this one, but if you're new here, your advice would be welcomed!  I think that the post is self-explanitory as to why it's important to me :-)

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Since I suffer from bi-polar and social anxiety, I don't have too many real-life friends that I do things with. Now I'm in the position of wanting to make new friends and unsure how to go about it without coming off as a stalker!

When I worked outside of the house, I could make friends organically at work. You get to know someone, have lunch, share stories and it can move on easily from there. Since that's not an option I have to just approach people who I am only acquaintances with, to try and pursue a friendship.

There's a cashier at my local Kroger who I really like. We've talked for years while I'm checking out about family, life, our boys. She's seen the boys grow over the past few years and I really like talking to her. Also, the receptionist at my boys orthodontic office is really great to talk to. We have kids the same ages and face a lot of the same challenges and questioning when it comes to raising teenagers who may not follow the path we want for them.

The awkward part is taking these to the next level. Do I just ask if they'd like to go out for coffee sometime? What if I'm just rejected & then have to face these people on a regular basis afterwards, that could be weird.

Any advice Mimi-readers? I would love to hear from you.


*Update, I did give my phone number to the cashier at Kroger, but havn't heard from her.  Our conversations are still fine when I stop in there, though.

I wish I lived closer to some of my dear bloggie friends!



Anonymous said...

Well, I can understand how difficult it is, especially at an age when you would think that we should have well established friendships. Making friends is tough, be it young or older...I think giving the cashier your number was the first step. I would aslo think that taking part in your boys schools will also put you in the position to meet parents of same age (and interests)children. I wish that you lived close to me because you would never be lonely!

slommler said...

I hear ya! making friends when you are older is difficult and awkward! I think you should meet with the cashier for coffee and see how that goes!!

Emily said...

It really is difficult to cultivate new friendships even if you aren't bipolar or anxious! It seems that most people are so involved with their own lives that there is little time left for friendships. Perhaps you could find a church group involving others in your age group. Or take a class in sculpting, quilting or whatever interests you. Maybe join a book club. It's a great way to meet new people and who knows what friendships might develop! Good luck!

KellyGrrl said...

This is definitely a hard one!! I don't really have any advice, because I wouldn't know what to do either! It sucks when you just want to make a connection, but potential future awkwardness is definitely a speedbump...

Rachael said...

I remember when you posted this and I thought it was great because it really is such a difficult question. I feel a lack of friends in my area lately, but I don't know how to meet more people.

K9friend said...

I remember reading that blog. I'm glad you took the initiative to give the cashier your number!


theUngourmet said...

I suffer from a bit of social anxiety myself so I really don't have many close friends. I mostly hang out with my kids. It seems like as I get older it becomes more difficult to forge real friendships. Maybe if you get involved with a women's bible study or book club??

Queenie Jeannie said...

You need to get some "Mommy Cards"! Just go to Vistaprint and order their free ones (you just pay $5 shipping). That way, you have your name and number, or whatever you have them print, ready to hand out.

I'd go the "would like like to go to a movie/restaurant/show" route, so you have something specific to do. The Bella says to make friends all you have to do is to say hi and ask them their name! Of course it may be easier when you are an adorable 6 year old!!!

I don't have any friends here either. It sucks. And I wish my bloggy friends were closer too. Next time pack up YOURSELF and ship it to me, k???

Alicia, The Snowflake said...

Making friends is not easy! It mostly takes time. But i think an invitation to coffee or dinner would probably be a good start. I'm sure you'll figure it out! Yes, it would help if you were here. I'd be your IRL friend!

Carolina said...

I remember this post. Good for you for giving the cashier your phone number. That's a step.
I have no problem making friends. Most of mine I've 'picked up' at the stables where my horse used to live. But just buying a horse an stable it somewhere just to make friends is perhaps too big a step ;-) Others I've found on courses I did: photography, ceramics, etc. You immediately have something in common.

And of course if we lived any closer... But I consider you my friend on the other end of the computerscreen.